A resume is like a first date—it’s got to look good, say the right things, and leave them wanting more. But instead of impressing one person, you’re wooing both an AI system and a human hiring manager. It’s a double challenge, like trying to make both your grandmother and your teenager laugh at the same joke.

Let’s dive into the world of resume writing, where we’ll help you craft a document that dazzles, not fumbles, and (hopefully) won’t end up ghosted by the applicant tracking system (ATS).

1. Buzzwords Are Like Glitter—Use Sparingly

We get it, you “synergized cross-functional teams” and “leveraged core competencies.” But too many buzzwords and your resume starts sounding like a corporate Mad Lib. Sprinkle them sparingly, like salt on fries—just enough to make it delicious, not enough to make the hiring manager’s eyes roll into the back of their head.

Pro Tip: If you’re using “proactive” or “thought leader,” stop and ask yourself: “Would I be embarrassed saying this in a normal conversation?” If yes, delete.

2. Chronological Honesty Is Key

Gaps in employment? It’s fine! The pandemic gave everyone some “sabbatical” time. Just don’t try to stretch that three-month Netflix binge into “freelance media consulting.” Honesty doesn’t just make you look authentic—it makes it easier to explain when they actually ask.

Alternative Phrasing for Gaps:

• • “Career Sabbatical: Focused on professional development” (a.k.a. you learned to bake sourdough).
  • “Explored entrepreneurial interests” (you started an Etsy shop and it’s okay).

3. Don’t Let the AI Ghost You

Many resumes end up in ATS purgatory, where they’re analyzed by algorithms instead of humans. To pass the robot test, you need the right keywords from the job description, but don’t stuff your resume like it’s a Thanksgiving turkey.

Example:
If the job posting mentions “project management,” say you “led multiple cross-functional projects” instead of just writing “project.” The AI sees it; the human smiles.

4. Numbers Talk, So Let Them Shout

Quantify your success. Did you save the company money? Did you improve processes by 30%? Did you find the last donut at the office meeting? Put it in numbers. “Achieved 200% increase in donut acquisition” sounds oddly impressive.

A great resume gets you in the door; a bad one makes sure you never leave your current job. Make it concise, truthful, and engaging enough that even the robots and humans take notice. Remember, it’s not just a piece of paper—it’s your first handshake with your future employer.